Just got in from a lovely meal with some friends, I forgot I had arranged it months ago and couldn't cancel in view of today. Anyway the meal was super and my crazy friends were on top form and being with them made me forgot my worries.
Anyway, I had my follow up this morning. The Consultant said taking everything into consideration IE low AMH, Antral follie, FSH, BMI, E2 and age,we were given the grand old stats of 2% (live birth) max success for this cycle!!!!!!!!!! So in his opinion it is up to us to decide if we want a final attempt. All in all his confidence was low based on oldies results at his clinic. !!!!!!!. He apologises for being straight talking and said he wanted to truthful and not gloss things over. (This came as a bit of a shock our chances had now reduced from 10% to 2%).
Anyway I discussed this with DH and I know we are mad we now have a 98 % chance of it not working but decided to give it final shot to get closure. I know if we don't try we will always wonder what if. This time I suppose I will have to be realistic about it working and remember every step of the way that we are doing this for closure. (blooming expensive closure, I could think of many ways to spend our hard earned money).We are probably mad but I need to do this so I can get it out of my system. If this didn't work then I am treating myself to a new yellow MX5.
At our last cycle in Feb we did manage to get 12 follies and 7 eggs, but our Consultant said he believes this time we will probably get much less. If we were to get 4 eggs he would be over the moon. In view of my new results I am being moved from sub optimal response to poor responder. So this time I will be on a short protocol no down regging, I am not really happy about changing my protocol but I am not an expert, so but what can I say. Anyway started pill popping again to reduce cyst so on roller coaster again.
So this time, no big plans with rose tinted glasses I will take one day at a time and try to have a PMA.
P.S I had thought of changing clinics but my clinic is in the top 5 in London and I feel comfortable and relaxed there. If I went to another clinic nothing would change my ovaries wouldn't get younger. I will still be a 42 trying to get knocked up.
Take care guys and thanks for all the support you have given me. I will keep you posted with events. Postive vibes to all.
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I'm so so sorry you had to hear this kind of news. I guess honesty is the best policy but is sure does stink. But you know what? YOU ROCK for trying it one more time. Please believe in yourself and don't let go of that hope. Many hugs to you.
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